Recently presumptive presidential nominee Mitt Romney made a holy pilgrimage to Jerusalem, where, just like any other divinely-inspired traveler, he was immediately showered with over a million dollars in campaign donations.

There are lots of things politicians try to hide when running for office: ideological flip- flopping, past drug use, a proclivity for Miley Cyrus tunes. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg!

Despite losing three more primaries on Tuesday and trailing far behind His Mittness in the delegate count, Rick Santorum has vowed to remain in the race for the GOP presidential nomination.

Despite a dismal fourth place showing in yesterday’s Illinois primary, Newt Gingrich has vowed to remain in the race for the GOP nomination. Is he a delusional douche, or a fetid cesspool of a man?

This weekend Mitt Romney swept Guam’s GOP caucuses, picking up 18 delegates in the process. (Don’t laugh — it could be what ultimately puts him over the top!) How did the usually politically-challenged former governor do it?

Satan rose to power after being cast out of Heaven. Rick Santorum has risen to power after being cast out of the Senate. But if you think the similarities stop there, think again, heathen!

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