ALTAR SKELTER DEPT.
Proving the old saw, “there’s a lid for every pot,” serial killer and noted Nazi enthusiast Charles Manson has announced that he is getting married! The “lucky” lady is a 25-year-old woman who left her Midwestern home and has spent the past nine years trying to exonerate the 79-year-old Manson. It looks to be a small, private ceremony within the confines of the prison Manson calls home (reception to follow immediately after). We don’t know where the happy couple is registered, but we were able to get hold of the groom’s wedding vows, which he has been feverishly working on in between his long conversations with Satan.
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