OH, CANADA DEPT.
This week, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford admitted to smoking crack after a video was released showing him, well, smoking crack. Sure, Toronto’s scabby, wild-eyed crackhead community is pleased to have one of their own in office, but for the rest of Canada, this is the biggest disgrace since the Expos got rid of those awesome clown hats. So how can our friends up north prevent such a thing from ever happening again? As always, we’re here to help.