Why Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris Called Off Their Wedding

So, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner and his 25-year old fiancé Crystal Harris broke off their engagement, but not for the reason you might think. Hef was able to get down the aisle without a walker! Why did they not go through with the nuptials? We have some theories…

• Hef’s intravenous Cialis drip just wasn't working anymore. • Crystal didn't want Hef's great-granddaughter to be one of the bridesmaids. • Hef had a sneaking suspicion that she was only in it for the money. • Every time Crystal looked at the "something blue..." she got sick to her stomach. • Horrible infestation of possums at the Playboy Mansion. • Hef insisted their Bridal Registry be at Beverly Hills Medical and Surgical Supply Warehouse. • She hoped they would tour the continents on their honeymoon — Hef hoped he wouldn’t be incontinent on their honeymoon. • Turns out Hef's gay.