Today it was announced that recently-appointed North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has entered the bonds of holy matrimony. Not much is known about the wife, Ri Sol-Ju, besides the fact that she has a thing for round, frowning despots. Although North Korea is a notoriously secretive country, details of the wedding spectacular still seem to be leaking through. Maybe Kim’s drunk uncle Frank accidentally went on a rant to the press. Maybe the wedding cake had a delicious, wire-tap center.