You are here

Arguments O.J. Simpson’s Lawyers are Making for His Release

JUICETICE IS BLIND DEPT.

O.J. Simpson is currently arguing before a judge that he should be freed from jail because his lawyer botched his 2008 trial for armed robbery and kidnapping. (Poor guy — he can’t get away with anything!) His new lawyers will present 19 reasons why the Juice should be let loose — and we managed to get our hands on a few!

Khloe Kardashian: The Terminated

THE EX-FACTOR DEPT.

Sad news today (well, sad for one person — for the rest of us, it’s actually pretty positive) — Khloe Kardashian Odom will not be returning next season to co-host X-Factor. There was no reason given, but it’s either because she wanted to spend more time with her family, or because she’s a talentless, unappealing cipher who was so terrible at her simple job that she made Mario Lopez look like a bottomless well of genius magnetism. Oh well — TV didn’t work out, but there’s always the big screen!

Celebrity Tax Deductions

DON’T MESS WITH TAXES DEPT.

Today is tax day! And you know what that means: um...it’s the day you pay your taxes! (Sorry, the name is kind of a giveaway...) Anyway — even though it’s a terrible, boring and wallet-draining time, there’s one sure-fire way to make it more enjoyable...see what the stars are doing! So, to help ease the pain, we thought we’d take a look at what some celebrity taxpayers are writing off as deductions this year!

MAD’s Birthday Card to Kristen Stewart

THE MOST HAPPY BELLA DEPT.

Kristen Stewart turns 23 today! We’re sure that she’s going to get cards from everyone! (Well, probably not from the wife of the guy she cheated with…but you know what we mean.) Still, in the spirit of this oh-so-special day, we’re delighted to offer:

New Ad Reflects the Reality of a Carnival Cruise

For the second time in a month, a Carnival Cruise ship — this one called “The Dream” and henceforth known as “The Nightmare” — is suffering power outages and pesky plumbing problems. Note: by “pesky plumbing problems,” we mean what passengers call “large amount of human waste all over the floor in bathrooms and staterooms.” On the positive side, we hear the view from the stench-ridden cabins is lovely this time of year.

Pages

Subscribe to Society & Culture