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Ann Curry has left her co-anchor position on NBC's The Today Show, saying a tearful goodbye to viewers just as NBC execs were saying a tearful goodbye to the show's 852-week streak as morning ratings champ. Officially, Ann was ousted from the position after Good Morning America took the top ratings spot, but who can say what really happened in the fast-and-furious-and-forgettable world of morning TV? We can.
The Supreme Court upheld Obamacare today — but NOT along the usual 5-4 split as “experts” predicted. The usual “swing vote,” Justice Kennedy, agreed with reliable right-wing gasbags Scalia, Thomas and Alito. But Chief Justice Roberts punk’d his conservative colleagues by voting with reliable left-wing gasbags Kagan, Kennedy, Sotomayor and Ginsburg.
John Edwards and Rielle Hunter recently announced that they’re ending their relationship. This marks the end of an era of cheating and lies — unless, of course, Edwards decides to reenter politics. Although many claim that Hunter’s newly-released, tell-all memoir was the reason for the split, we just aren’t buying it (the claim or the book).
This Thursday, the Supreme Court will rule on the legality of Obamacare — and while everyone from pundits to politicians to the average underinsured schmoe awaits the verdict anxiously, the truth is that no matter what the court decides, there’s plenty about our crummy healthcare system that will stay exactly the same.
Today, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down much of the harsh immigration law signed by crackpot Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, but left in the controversial “Papers, please” provision allowing police to request documents verifying a civilian’s immigration status. Since we’ll be vacationing anywhere BUT Arizona this year, it won’t affect us, but we realize the rule could impact many who do travel there.
Ever since he started playing, LeBron James has been compared to Michael Jordan. But there was one big difference between the two players: Jordan had actually won a freakin’ championship! But after the Miami Heat’s victory last night, LeBron’s hands are ring-free no more! It turns out, however, that that is just the tip of the iceberg! When comparing these two players, the parallels and divergences are as nuanced and intriguing as the plotline to one of MJ’s Hanes commercials.
Nadya "Octomom” Suleman has a porn video debuting today. She claims that making the video opened up a “world of self pleasure” for her — and that’s great! But what about the “world of anguish” it opened up for the rest of us?!?
Here in New York, local weatherpeople are saying that for the next few days, temperatures will get into the upper nineties, with humidity making it feel more like a brain-melting 105°. Sure, that’s plenty hot — but how hot is it, really?
Legendary baseball fraud Roger Clemens beat the steroid-perjury rap yesterday when a jury declared him innocent of lying to Congress — thereby boosting his chances of getting into to the Hall of Fame from “zero” to “hopelessly remote.” On the off chance that he does make it, here’s the plaque that awaits him in Cooperstown.