Nadya "Octomom” Suleman has a porn video debuting today. She claims that making the video opened up a “world of self pleasure” for her — and that’s great! But what about the “world of anguish” it opened up for the rest of us?!?
You are here
Here in New York, local weatherpeople are saying that for the next few days, temperatures will get into the upper nineties, with humidity making it feel more like a brain-melting 105°. Sure, that’s plenty hot — but how hot is it, really?
Legendary baseball fraud Roger Clemens beat the steroid-perjury rap yesterday when a jury declared him innocent of lying to Congress — thereby boosting his chances of getting into to the Hall of Fame from “zero” to “hopelessly remote.” On the off chance that he does make it, here’s the plaque that awaits him in Cooperstown.
The US Anti-Doping Agency has once again leveled doping charges against that dope Lance Armstrong, accusing him of altering his blood samples to cover up use of performance-enhancing substances, including EPO and testosterone. If found guilty, he can be stripped of his seven Tour De France titles and be barred from future competition.
George Zimmerman’s wife, Shellie, was charged with perjury on Tuesday after telling a judge that the couple had “limited money,” when they’d actually raised over $135,000 on George’s website, TrayvonKindOfScaredMe.com. If convicted, she could face up to five years in prison and a $5,000 fine — and that’s not even taking into account these...
The Ku Klux Klan recently approached the state of Georgia about joining their “Adopt a Highway” program, claiming that their goal is to keep the mountains beautiful. While we appreciate the KKK going green, that’s probably not the first color they need to reconcile with. If the Klan succeeds, the people of Georgia can look forward to seeing their roads filled with less garbage...but much more white trash.
The Nobel Foundation, responsible for the distribution of the Nobel Prize, just announced that they’re cutting the amount of their prize from $1.4 million to a piddling $1.1 million! Although some have pondered getting rid of the ceremony altogether, what would be the point of acts of selflessness and charity if you weren’t rewarded with worldwide recognition and a large cash prize? Still, if the Nobel foundation REALLY wants to turn things around, it’s time to make these…
This past weekend, "I'll Have Another" was scratched from the Belmont Stakes mere hours before race time, ending his run for the Triple Crown and disappointing thousands of degenerate gamblers. With "I'll Have Another" retiring to battle tendonitis and the irony of his name, the odds aren't good that anyone cares about the "Single Crown"-winning "Union Rags" or any of the losing horses, for that matter.