UDDER STUPIDITY DEPT.
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EAT, WEIGH, GUV DEPT.
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie recently revealed that he had undergone lap-band surgery in order to help him get down to his “goal weight” of a svelte 535 pounds. We salute his newfound resolve to lead a healthier life — but, given his donut-inhaling history, we’re a little worried about a relapse. But if such a thing does happen, it will at least make for riveting drama.
MAIL ENHANCEMENT DEPT.
CARNIVAL KNOWLEDGE DEPT.
CLASSIC IDIOTICAL DEPT.
Can you believe that today marks the two-year anniversary of Osama Bin Laden being killed? To recognize the occasion, we thought we’d share our blog post from the original event! Wherever he is, we’re sure he’s looking up on us, smiling.
IT’S A GOOD ZING DEPT.
With high-profile stars like Zach Braff pitching projects on Kickstarter, it was inevitable that other sites would also begin hosting notable celebrities desperately in need of...not money, but companionship! It seems that even a one-person conglomerate like Martha Stewart needs some help meeting the guys! (At least she didn’t go to Craigslist!) Of course, on dating sites, being truthful is prized, and that’s why we think “glue gun” Martha should go with our suggestions for a tell-it-like-it-is approach!
MISTAKING JAMES DEPT.
Washington Wizards reserve center Jason Collins made history this week when he announced that he was gay — becoming the first active, openly-gay NBA player. We completely support Collins’ brave choice to go public — but, c’mon, he’s a fifth-stringer for the Washington Wizards. It’s a cover story for Sports Illustrated, for crying out loud! If they really wanted to move some issues, they should have gone for some bigger star power.
THE DYING GAME DEPT.
CLEAR AND PRESIDENT DANGER DEPT.
Recently, Donald Trump posted a tweet about Jon Stewart that many felt was anti-Semitic. We don’t want to go after Trump for being religiously insensitive — after all, there are so many larger reasons to hate him! This is really just the tip of the disgusting, attention-whoring iceberg. Still, if he’s going to be active on social media, he should really go for the full experience. And we’re happy to help with our new feature, "A Selfie We'd Like to See."