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The New Al-Qaeda Underwear Bomb: What We Know

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED — FLY, FLY AGAIN DEPT.

The CIA recently thwarted Al Qaeda’s plot to bring a bomb aboard a U.S.-bound airplane. Details are still emerging, but it’s been revealed that the device was a new kind of underwear bomb. (And we still hadn’t tried the old kind yet! This is just like the iPhone releases!) The whole story raises more questions than answers, however…

Why "The Avengers" Made $200 Million Last Weekend

THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX OFFICE DEPT.

Over the weekend, The Avengers shattered all box office records, raking in over $200 million domestically. Why were so many Americans willing to shell out their hard-earned unemployment checks to go see a bunch of guys in Spandex blow up stuff? You don't have to be Batman to deduce that the reasons were many.

MAD Magazine Why The Avengers Made $200 Million The Idiotical

Why Did "The Scream" Sell for $119.9 Million?

THE LAST AUCTION HERO DEPT.

As we mentioned earlier, a version of Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” sold for $119.9 million — that’s the most ever paid for a work of art at auction! To give you an idea of just how much $119.9 million is: if you had 119 million $1 bills and stacked them one on top of the other…it would be a better use of time and money than whatever Michael Bay would do with the same amount of cash! Still — what makes this particular smear of pastel so special?

Reasons Why Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom Will Get a Divorce

SPLITTING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS DEPT.

Rumors have been swirling that Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian’s marriage is in trouble and that, any day now, they’ll announce they’re getting a divorce! But that’s crazy talk — they’d never announce that! Not when they could do a special episode of their show and milk the news for all the money it’s worth! And when they do, here are the...

Occupy Wall Street's May Day Poster Revised

CAUSE AND DEFECTS DEPT.

Occupy Wall Street organizers had a full slate of protests planned for today, but there was only one problem — the phrase “OWS organizers” is a bit of an oxymoron. And after a few months of protestors putting aside their white-hot rage (because the weather got a little nippy), their vague, scattered demands just resulted in today’s vague, scattered protests. Oh well — at least they got to make a pretty poster!

Ways to Get the Most Out of "Take Your Child to Work Day"

SPARE THE JOB, SPOIL THE CHILD DEPT.

Today is one of America’s most beloved pseudo-holidays, right up there with Root Vegetable Awareness Week: “Take Your Child to Work Day.” In bringing your son or daughter to work today, you’re teaching them the importance of commitment, dedication, and putzing around on eBay. And as long as you’ve got the little monster in the office with you, you might as well make the best of it — and we’re here to help.

The Obama Dive Bar Girl — What Was She Saying?

A BLANK DEPOSIT DEPT.

By now you’ve seen this picture of “dive bar girl” Madalyn Starkey posing with the President. You know the face. You know the point. But you don’t know what she said! Or do you?!? (You’re so secretive, you little minx, you!) We wrote a few ourselves — click through and share your own in the comments section!  

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