TIME FLIES WHEN YOU’RE MAKING FUN DEPT.
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THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOXERS DEPT.
WATER BORED DEPT.
After failing four times in the past, 64-year-old Diana Nyad successfully swam from Cuba to Florida over the weekend. She made the 110-mile journey in just under 53 hours (slightly faster than Amtrak!), and was also the first person to do so without using a shark cage. Clearly, it’s cause for celebration! And for a speech from a water-logged, exhausted senior citizen!
NO RESTROOM FOR THE WICKED DEPT.
ACTING, THE FOOL DEPT.
ASSAD STATE OF AFFAIRS DEPT.
UNNATURAL DISASTERS DEPT.
SCHOOL OF SCHLOCK DEPT.
GREAT SPITE DEPT.
PRIVATE’S PARTS DEPT.