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Arguments O.J. Simpson’s Lawyers are Making for His Release

JUICETICE IS BLIND DEPT.

O.J. Simpson is currently arguing before a judge that he should be freed from jail because his lawyer botched his 2008 trial for armed robbery and kidnapping. (Poor guy — he can’t get away with anything!) His new lawyers will present 19 reasons why the Juice should be let loose — and we managed to get our hands on a few!

The I.R.S.'s Puzzling New Children's Book

THE EYES OF TAXES ARE UPON YOU DEPT.

With recent revelations of the Internal Revenue Service’s automatic flagging of the Tea Party and other conservative groups has come a wave of justifiable outrage from all sides. But how to explain to your children such a flagrant abuse of power? Perhaps this new book will help.

Hillary Clinton’s Troubling New Movie

COMIN’ AROUND THE BENGHAZI DEPT.

The attack on Libya’s American embassy on Sept. 11 was a tragedy. And as if that weren’t terrible enough, now it’s being said that then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton mismanaged the situation, and if it had been handled differently, it might have been avoided entirely. As the accusations continue and new evidence comes to light, Hil’s original story about how things went down is holding less and less water. We’ll see how things shake out, but one thing is for sure — it’s tough to find a silver lining in all this.

Chris Christie: Breaking Band

EAT, WEIGH, GUV DEPT.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie recently revealed that he had undergone lap-band surgery in order to help him get down to his “goal weight” of a svelte 535 pounds. We salute his newfound resolve to lead a healthier life — but, given his donut-inhaling history, we’re a little worried about a relapse. But if such a thing does happen, it will at least make for riveting drama.

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