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Susan Rice Withdraws Name for Secretary of State

REVENGE IS A SIDE DISH BEST SERVED COLD DEPT.

U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice withdrew her name for consideration as Secretary of State, following weeks of blistering criticism from Republicans who claimed she deliberately misled them about the American consulate attack in Benghazi, Libya. With lukewarm support coming from the White House, it was a smart move. After all — and especially in D.C. — if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen! 

MAD Magazine Susan Rice a Runnin

Will Paul McCartney Sing for Nirvana Tonight?

A NO COBAIN-ER DEPT.

There are reports that Paul McCartney will front a Nirvana reunion with Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic at tonight’s 12-12-12 Hurricane Sandy Relief Benefit, with Sir Paul standing in for the late Kurt Cobain.Though they are not expected to perform such delightful Nirvana classics as “Dumb” or “Lithium”, the performance may have fans clamoring for more — and we wonder if that could lead to a brand

Pepsi’s Rejected Beyoncé-Style Cans

DRINK AND DRIVEL DEPT.

It was announced this week that Pepsi and Beyoncé have become “global partners.” What that means (other than sounding like a “Risk” alliance) is that Beyoncé is getting $50 million to do a bunch of Pepsi stuff — including having her face on Pepsi cans. We figured there must have been other candidates for the job — and luckily, we discovered some of the other celebs Pepsi considered for the can-treatment before they settled on Beyoncé!

Breaking Factoids about Prince William and Kate Middleton’s Pregnancy

BAMBINO ROYALE DEPT.

If you’re the type of person who actually gave a crap when Prince William and Kate Middleton got married, get ready — because your easily-distracted brain is about to explode! The rumor is that America’s favorite non-American couple (Sorry, Bollywood power couple Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor!) is having a baby! Sadly, the facts are very scarce. Fortunately, facts are never a big ingredient when we report a story — so enjoy these...

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