Yesterday was the Inaugural celebration and public swearing-in for President Obama’s second term! And while it’s historic and all that, not everyone could be there (if we’re going to stand out in the cold, we expect to get an Apple product or see the back of Matt Lauer’s head in person — and, ideally, both!). However, being the solid Americans that we are, we thought we’d pass along some of the highlights:
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Long-distance relationships are hard — especially when the person you’re dating doesn’t even exist! Through an increasingly-bonkers and decreasingly-credible series of events, Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o announced that his “girlfriend” Lennay Kekua was not a real person and that he had been scammed. But as the facts continue to emerge, it’s unclear how much Te’o actually knew — and whether he was actually involved in the scamming.
NRA honchos Wayne LaPierre and David Keene have been in the news lately steadfastly opposing any new gun control legislation.
Two infamous names in the news, connected in ways that you might not realize.
It’s official: the flu has now reached epidemic proportions. So before the MAD staff all goes home with fake symptoms, we present…
As the Republican Congress and President Obama continue to haggle over raising the debt ceiling, it’s been mentioned that an old Treasury rule can allow the President to skirt the issue by minting a trillion dollar coin. If such a ridiculous gimmick were to happen, whose face should grace this coin? President Obama’s? House Speaker John Boehner’s? We humbly submit that there is only one face truly suited to symbolize the stupidity and dysfunction of Washington, D.C. And that face is...well, you know who!
Hasbro announced that they would be retiring one of the classic Monopoly game pieces and replacing it with a brand new one! (Your days are numbered, Iron!) Fans will get to vote on which piece gets the heave-ho, and on which new one should replace it — either a cat, a robot, a helicopter, a diamond ring or a guitar. But those choices are about as fun as playing Monopoly without cheating!
2012 was the hottest year in the nation’s history! And while that’s not a surprise to anyone who set foot outside in the last 365 days (excluding that loveable shut-in, John Caldwell), there were several other tip-offs that you might have missed.
In a recent Dateline interview about his gastric bypass surgery, Al Roker admitted that in 2002, as he was getting used to the procedure’s aftereffects, he attempted to fart but wound up...let’s say...welcoming a brown front to the southern region. Then he threw his underwear in the garbage and went Al-Roker fresco.
Taking a cue from Westchester County’s Journal News, which recently published the names and addresses of gun permit-holders in Westchester and Rockland Counties, MAD boldly uses this same exposé technique to focus attention on another problem afflicting Americans of all ages: tooth decay among gum owners. How bad is the situation in your neighborhood?