The numbers are in, and — wait for it — July was the hottest month ever recorded in the United States! (We weren’t asking you to “wait for it” for dramatic reasons; we just needed to wipe our sweat-drenched foreheads and chug a two-liter bottle of Gatorade “Turquoise Permafrost”!) We did conduct an exhaustive study, however, and discovered the…
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Google was pretty excited about their “answer” to Apple TV — the Nexus Q. So it was surprising when the cyber-behemoth announced that it was suspending the launch of the media streaming doodad…indefinitely. Reps said they wanted to take time out to make it “even better,” which shouldn’t be hard, given that the Nexus Q can only stream content from Google Music, Google Play, and (Google-owned) YouTube.
Tonight, TLC introduces its newest epic Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo, a gag-inducing spin-off of Toddlers & Tiaras. The show revolves around six-year-old pageant contestant Alana Thompson (Honey Boo-Boo) as she frantically runs into things, squawks with the inflection of a bad Madea impersonator and chugs Go-Go Juice (a child-friendly beverage made by combining Mountain Dew and Red Bull).
This week in Mars news, the NASA rover “Curiosity” (also the name of a new perfume for cats) successfully landed on the red planet. The mission, which has been in the works since 2004, cost about 2.5 billion dollars! While our sources tell us about a tenth of that money was spent getting all 18,800 NASA employees “Curiosity” windbreakers, the rest went to building the actual spacecraft.
Have you ever thought, “Boy, I wish I had a shot at deciding the flavor of some new potato chip that’s sure to underperform and be discontinued!”? Well, with Lays’ “Do Us a Flavor” contest, that passing thought can become a mediocre reality! They’re giving a million dollars to the lucky schlub who comes up with the best new potato chip flavor. (A million dollars?
From Puff Daddy (P. Diddy, Diddy) to Ol’ Dirty Bastard (Dirt McGirt, Big Baby Jesus, Lionel P. Fancypants), there is a long tradition of rappers changing their names for no particular reason. But it was still a shock to learn earlier this week that Snoop Dogg had changed his name to “Snoop Lion” — especially since he did it at the urging of a Jamaican priest, and from now on will perform only reggae, not hip hop. The whole thing is so dramatic and bizarre that it’s worthy of its own Broadway musical!
In the fierce, dog-eat-dog world of competitive badminton, sometimes you’ve just gotta cheat to get ahead. At least that’s what the Olympic teams from China, Indonesia, and South Korea thought when they deliberately lost their matches in order to improve their next-round placement.
Lately, Chick-fil-A’s been in the fryer, after company President Dan Cathy came out in opposition to gay marriage. While many have lambasted his stance, the prince of poultry still has plenty of advocates — folks like ex-Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, who even went so far as to declare today “Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day.” To find out what people were doing to commemorate this ridiculous “holiday”, we took to the streets and asked around.
The Jackson Family has been through a lot. First Grandma Katherine went missing. Then she turned up. But she wound up losing custody of Michael’s three kids. And all the uncles and aunts are fighting about who’d have custody. (Yes, even Tito!) And Michael’s kids were tweeting accusations and complaints about the whole mess. At this point, the Jackson who’s in the best shape may be Michael! Anyway, all this family drama got us thinking about another ridiculous family that’s been in the news lately.
Recently presumptive presidential nominee Mitt Romney made a holy pilgrimage to Jerusalem, where, just like any other divinely-inspired traveler, he was immediately showered with over a million dollars in campaign donations. Romney even visited the Wailing Wall — world-renowned for its cracks packed with the written prayers of visitors. Always respectful of local customs (and the opportunity to sway impressionable Jewish-American voters), Mitt stuffed in a prayer of his own. The Idiotical has an exclusive look at what Romney wrote on his slip of paper. Don’t believe us?