CLASSIC MAD DEPT.
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As shares of Facebook stock continue to fall, many investors are now wringing their hands, ruing the day they paid a whopping $38 per share for Facebook’s Initial Public Offering. With billions lost and the stock now down over 20%, all that investors can do is weep uncontrollably and think about all the great things they could have spent that money on.
Facebook is going public this week, which means you can now buy stock in the company! Well, YOU can’t — the stocks are extremely sought after and you have to be pretty well-connected to get your hands on them. And let’s face facts — if you’re reading the MAD website, you’re probably not well-connected. (Hell, you’re lucky just to be internet-connected). So since we’ll never see one in person, we’re giving a sneak peek of what the actual stock certificates will look like!
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• Give weekly radio address calling for stronger regulations on Wall Street fat cats.
• Count $2.5 million in campaign contribution donations raised in one day from Wall Street fat cats.
• Bag up all of Bo’s droppings from the White House lawn, go over to Eric Cantor’s porch, set the bag on fire, ring the doorbell and run!