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Reasons July was the Hottest Month Ever

ALL YOU CAN HEAT DEPT.

The numbers are in, and — wait for it — July was the hottest month ever recorded in the United States! (We weren’t asking you to “wait for it” for dramatic reasons; we just needed to wipe our sweat-drenched foreheads and chug a two-liter bottle of Gatorade “Turquoise Permafrost”!) We did conduct an exhaustive study, however, and discovered the…

Tips For Dealing With the Heat Wave

From MAD #493, September 2008

    • Continually whine about how hot it is. Evidently, many people think this works.

    • You can’t go wrong with Gatorade. Is it in you? (This line brought to you by Gatorade.)

    • Check with your local cryogenics lab and see if they offer a 3-month plan.

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