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Lindsay Lohan’s Pathetic New Movie

CONFESSIONS OF A COURTROOM DRAMA QUEEN DEPT.

When Lindsay Lohan yesterday accepted a plea deal for driving into a dump truck, part of the agreement was that she’d do 90 days of hard rehab. We’re not sure that this is going to help all that much, but at the very least, her latest legal episode will provide fodder for her big comeback movie.

Lindsay Lohan in "Grand Theft LiLo"

YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE LOHAN DEPT.

Oh Lindsay. The full-time train-wreck (and acting hobbyist) was accused this week of stealing $100,000 worth of jewelry and sunglasses from a friend’s house. And it looked like she might actually have to face the music...until the victim decided he didn’t want to press charges.

When Other Notorious Characters Change Their Names Like Ron Artest

NBA-HOLE DEPT.

Last year, NBA thug Ron Artest changed his name to Metta World Peace in a heroic attempt to put his ugly and violent past behind him. It worked really well — at least until this past weekend, when “Metta World Peace” almost murdered James Harden with an elbow to the head. But why dwell on the negative? The important thing is that he changed his name to improve himself. We hope that others will follow his fine example and change their names as well.

Lindsay in Playboy!

Like most red-blooded America men, we rushed online when we heard that Lindsay’s Playboy photos had been leaked! But let’s just say that a part of us was more than a little disappointed when we learned that “Lindsay” was actually South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham. Ewww! Sad…Hef must really be losing it.

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