THE HEAT IS GONE DEPT.
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MISTAKING JAMES DEPT.
Washington Wizards reserve center Jason Collins made history this week when he announced that he was gay — becoming the first active, openly-gay NBA player. We completely support Collins’ brave choice to go public — but, c’mon, he’s a fifth-stringer for the Washington Wizards. It’s a cover story for Sports Illustrated, for crying out loud! If they really wanted to move some issues, they should have gone for some bigger star power.
WINNER IS COMING DEPT.
The Miami Heat have won 26 games in a row! (Not to be confused with the Charlotte Bobcats — who had 26 people in the stands at their last game.) Right now, the Heat are on pace to beat the Lakers’ 33-game winning streak to have the longest winning streak in NBA history! And even though we’d love to root for a scrappy underdog like LeBron, we have a terrible feeling that it’s not going to happen.
BLASTER OF CEREMONIES DEPT.
With Jeremy Lin now leaving the Big Apple for Houston, fans of the New York Knicks, who haven’t won an NBA title since the end of the Vietnam War, are filled with meLINncholy. But many others aren’t taking the news so hard.
Ever since he started playing, LeBron James has been compared to Michael Jordan. But there was one big difference between the two players: Jordan had actually won a freakin’ championship! But after the Miami Heat’s victory last night, LeBron’s hands are ring-free no more! It turns out, however, that that is just the tip of the iceberg! When comparing these two players, the parallels and divergences are as nuanced and intriguing as the plotline to one of MJ’s Hanes commercials.
All of your favorite stars are playing…without even realizing it.
Let the games begin!
But Jay-Z beats him with…PAPER!