Miami Marlins coach Ozzie Guillen was suspended for five games after stating that he “loved” and “respected” longtime Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. Last time we checked, the constitution protected free speech — even free stupid speech.
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The internet has been flooded with photos of thousands of North Koreans gathering to mourn the passing of their dear leader Kim Jong Il. But is that really why all these people are crying? Turns out, no, it’s not.
Dictator Kim Jong Il fell victim to a death hoax this week, but have no fear the midget despot is doing just fine. To quell speculation, he tweeted a holiday photo of himself alive and well. Also, in an official statement, Kim Jong Il expressed his sympathy to the family of rocker Jon Bon Jovi, who was reportedly found in a coma in a New Jersey hotel and not breathing.
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il died over the weekend. According to state television, the departed great leader will continue to work for his starving people, now as fertilizer to help grow crops. The ruthless, paranoid dictator leaves behind a son, Kim Jong Un, 8 nuclear missiles and 14 pairs of elevator shoes.