CLEAR AND PRESIDENT DANGER DEPT.
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EVERY MUSHROOM CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING DEPT.
GLOOM AND ROOM DEPT.
Yesterday, Kate Upton was announced as the cover girl of Sport Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue! And tonight, President Obama delivers the State of the Union Address! Guess which of these things more Americans care about? C’mon Barry, it’s time to give the people what they want!
To quiet those who have questioned the president’s gun use, the White House released a photo over the weekend that showed Obama skeet shooting. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words — but in this case, the picture is only telling half the story (so, it’s really only, like, 500 words…600 words max). What was really in Obama's sights? We can only speculate.
Yesterday was the Inaugural celebration and public swearing-in for President Obama’s second term! And while it’s historic and all that, not everyone could be there (if we’re going to stand out in the cold, we expect to get an Apple product or see the back of Matt Lauer’s head in person — and, ideally, both!). However, being the solid Americans that we are, we thought we’d pass along some of the highlights:
As the Republican Congress and President Obama continue to haggle over raising the debt ceiling, it’s been mentioned that an old Treasury rule can allow the President to skirt the issue by minting a trillion dollar coin. If such a ridiculous gimmick were to happen, whose face should grace this coin? President Obama’s? House Speaker John Boehner’s? We humbly submit that there is only one face truly suited to symbolize the stupidity and dysfunction of Washington, D.C. And that face is...well, you know who!
To demonstrate his solidarity with the middle class, Vice President Joe Biden went on a holiday shopping trip to the Washington, DC Costco yesterday. They were all out of tooth whitener and hair plugs — but here are some of the things he DID buy!