Ben & Jerry's New Barack Obama-Themed Flavor
MOUTH WATERING-GATE DEPT.
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Hillary Clinton’s Troubling New Movie
COMIN’ AROUND THE BENGHAZI DEPT.
The attack on Libya’s American embassy on Sept. 11 was a tragedy. And as if that weren’t terrible enough, now it’s being said that then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton mismanaged the situation, and if it had been handled differently, it might have been avoided entirely. As the accusations continue and new evidence comes to light, Hil’s original story about how things went down is holding less and less water. We’ll see how things shake out, but one thing is for sure — it’s tough to find a silver lining in all this.
2nd Anniversary of "Weekend at Bin Laden's"
CLASSIC IDIOTICAL DEPT.
Can you believe that today marks the two-year anniversary of Osama Bin Laden being killed? To recognize the occasion, we thought we’d share our blog post from the original event! Wherever he is, we’re sure he’s looking up on us, smiling.
Under-Reported Events at the Opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library
CLEAR AND PRESIDENT DANGER DEPT.
MissileMania: Kim Jong-Un vs. Barack Obama!
EVERY MUSHROOM CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING DEPT.
By now, Kim Jong-Un has reached Lohan levels of constant, ongoing nuttiness. But even so, he’s really been pushing the envelope lately — conducting nuclear tests, making endless threats about attacking the U.S., and even putting nuclear missiles into position. It’s unclear how many missiles he has, how far they could go, or what he intends to do with them — but with Kimmy puffing his chest out, Obama has had to get tough in response. With so much posturing, we hope it’s just a lot of show, with no one getting seriously hurt...just like a certain “sports entertainment” that comes to mind.
Joe Biden Explains His $585,000 Paris Hotel Bill
GLOOM AND ROOM DEPT.
The cost for Joe Biden to stay for just ONE NIGHT in a Paris hotel is $585,000! That’s according to a recent contract signed with the Hotel Intercontinental Paris Le Grand — to be fair, though, that figure also includes rooms for the military, communications, secret service staff and other support professionals that are required to travel with the Vice President. But still — something seems fishy! Luckily, we were able to closely examine the bill — and get Joey’s take on the charges!
The State of the Upton Address
UNDRESS THE NATION DEPT
Yesterday, Kate Upton was announced as the cover girl of Sport Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue! And tonight, President Obama delivers the State of the Union Address! Guess which of these things more Americans care about? C’mon Barry, it’s time to give the people what they want!
What Was Obama REALLY Shooting At?
ALL YOU CAN SKEET DEPT.
To quiet those who have questioned the president’s gun use, the White House released a photo over the weekend that showed Obama skeet shooting. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words — but in this case, the picture is only telling half the story (so, it’s really only, like, 500 words…600 words max). What was really in Obama's sights? We can only speculate.
Overheard at the Obama Inaugural
EXECUTIVE DERISION DEPT.
Yesterday was the Inaugural celebration and public swearing-in for President Obama’s second term! And while it’s historic and all that, not everyone could be there (if we’re going to stand out in the cold, we expect to get an Apple product or see the back of Matt Lauer’s head in person — and, ideally, both!). However, being the solid Americans that we are, we thought we’d pass along some of the highlights:
MAD’s Suggestion For the New Trillion-Dollar Coin
IT DOESN’T MAKE CENTS DEPT.
As the Republican Congress and President Obama continue to haggle over raising the debt ceiling, it’s been mentioned that an old Treasury rule can allow the President to skirt the issue by minting a trillion dollar coin. If such a ridiculous gimmick were to happen, whose face should grace this coin? President Obama’s? House Speaker John Boehner’s? We humbly submit that there is only one face truly suited to symbolize the stupidity and dysfunction of Washington, D.C. And that face is...well, you know who!
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