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Alex Rodriguez’s Hall of Fame Plaque

BIOGENESIS EXODUS DEPT.

It was announced today that Alex Rodriguez will be suspended through the end of the 2014 baseball season due to his use of performance-enhancing drugs (and his reported cover-up of that P.E.D. use — which apparently didn’t go so well). While an appeal is inevitable, his cheating-filled legacy appears set — and if he somehow makes it to Cooperstown, we have a pretty good idea what his plaque will look like.

Celebrity Tax Deductions

DON’T MESS WITH TAXES DEPT.

Today is tax day! And you know what that means: um...it’s the day you pay your taxes! (Sorry, the name is kind of a giveaway...) Anyway — even though it’s a terrible, boring and wallet-draining time, there’s one sure-fire way to make it more enjoyable...see what the stars are doing! So, to help ease the pain, we thought we’d take a look at what some celebrity taxpayers are writing off as deductions this year!

Classic MAD: The Alex Rodriguez Piss Cup Collectible

CLASSIC MAD DEPT.

No surprise, no surprise! Evidence has emerged that Alex Rodriguez took performance enhancing drugs the last three years. Wow, just imagine how crappy he would have played if he hadn’t been taking them! When he first admitted he was a steroid cheat back in 2009, we were proud to promote his new collectible piss cup. Look for A-Rod on Oprah soon!

Derek Jeter Slams 3,000th Hit as New York Yankee

When Derek Jeter triumphantly battled the Rays pitching this weekend and smacked a crushing home run for his 3,000th career hit, he was greeted as a conquering hero by the entire Yankees team as he crossed home plate. While the scene was like something out of a Hollywood script, we couldn’t help wondering what was really going through the Yankees Captain’s mind as he rounded the bases.

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