The NRA's New Headquarters Unveiled
AMERICA ON THE WAYNE DEPT.
Harry Reid’s Unfortunate New Role
MAGNUM FARCE DEPT.
Yesterday, spineless Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid refused to put up for a vote a bill that would ban assault weapons.
He claimed the bill didn’t have the necessary support to pass. But by shamelessly not putting it up for a vote, even if it were doomed to defeat, he gave himself and all his gutless, NRA-owned Democratic colleagues political coverage. He went ahead and made Wayne LaPierre’s day.
What Was Obama REALLY Shooting At?
ALL YOU CAN SKEET DEPT.
To quiet those who have questioned the president’s gun use, the White House released a photo over the weekend that showed Obama skeet shooting. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words — but in this case, the picture is only telling half the story (so, it’s really only, like, 500 words…600 words max). What was really in Obama's sights? We can only speculate.
Wayne LaPierre’s Crazy New Movie
SHOOT HAPPENS DEPT.
NRA honchos Wayne LaPierre and David Keene have been in the news lately steadfastly opposing any new gun control legislation. Whether they’re suggesting armed guards in schools, or saying Obama thinks his kids are better than yours (which, to be fair, they probably are...), every time they open their mouths, these two doofs set back the dialogue. On the upside, with their laughable defenses, if the NRA ever lets them go, they should think about going pro in comedy!
Disturbing Similarities and Differences Between Lance Armstrong and Wayne LaPierre
THE UNITED SNAKES DEPT.
Two infamous names in the news, connected in ways that you might not realize.
Other Indicators That 2012 Was the Hottest Year on Record
SOME DISLIKE IT HOT DEPT.
2012 was the hottest year in the nation’s history! And while that’s not a surprise to anyone who set foot outside in the last 365 days (excluding that loveable shut-in, John Caldwell), there were several other tip-offs that you might have missed.
MAD Re-captions NRA Exec. Vice President Wayne LaPierre’s News Conference
IN DEEP SHOOT DEPT.
Abraham Lincoln once said “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” And after a week of silence regarding the tragic shootings in Newtown, CT, the NRA learned that lesson the hard way. This afternoon, NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre held a press conference where he suggested that having armed guards in all schools would prevent something like Newtown from happening again. He also claimed that guns weren’t responsible for gun violence — rather, it was movies, videogames, music and the media that was at fault. We can’t wait to see who he blames for his terrible performance.
