Things You Can Learn from The Learning Channel’s New Show — "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo"

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO GO DEPT.

Tonight, TLC introduces its newest epic Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo, a gag-inducing spin-off of Toddlers & Tiaras. The show revolves around six-year-old pageant contestant Alana Thompson (Honey Boo-Boo) as she frantically runs into things, squawks with the inflection of a bad Madea impersonator and chugs Go-Go Juice (a child-friendly beverage made by combining Mountain Dew and Red Bull).

Similarities Between "Modern Family" and the Jackson Family

THE PRODIGAL JACKSON RETURNS DEPT.

The Jackson Family has been through a lot. First Grandma Katherine went missing. Then she turned up. But she wound up losing custody of Michael’s three kids. And all the uncles and aunts are fighting about who’d have custody. (Yes, even Tito!) And Michael’s kids were tweeting accusations and complaints about the whole mess. At this point, the Jackson who’s in the best shape may be Michael! Anyway, all this family drama got us thinking about another ridiculous family that’s been in the news lately.

Other Demands George Zimmerman Made to Appear on "The View"

GOON WITH THE VIEW DEPT.

George Zimmerman, the man accused of killing an unarmed Florida teenager, dropped plans for a second television interview on The View after ABC would not provide a month of “shelter and security” for his family, his attorney said Thursday. What the attorney did not say was that “shelter and security” were only two of the demands made by his client. In fact, Zimmerman had so many demands that insiders say Barbara Walters’ panties were really twisted in a knot. Eewww…

Celebrity Tweets from Alec Baldwin's Wedding

SWALLOW THEIR TWITTER FEED DEPT.

Now that the 4th of July has passed and the stray fires from illegal fireworks have been extinguished, and the pungent smell of vomit from Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island is but a fading memory, we have time to reflect on something that took place in New York City this holiday week: the marriage of Alec Baldwin to Hilaria Thomas — a woman not quite half his age.

The Real Reasons Why Ann Curry Was Fired from "The Today Show"

GOOD MOURNING AMERICA DEPT.

Ann Curry has left her co-anchor position on NBC's The Today Show, saying a tearful goodbye to viewers just as NBC execs were saying a tearful goodbye to the show's 852-week streak as morning ratings champ. Officially, Ann was ousted from the position after Good Morning America took the top ratings spot, but who can say what really happened in the fast-and-furious-and-forgettable world of morning TV? We can. 

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