SKETCHY CHARACTERS DEPT.
SKETCHY CHARACTERS DEPT.
THE DYING GAME DEPT.
There’s good news and bad news. The bad news is that Two and a Half Men has been renewed for another season. But the good news is that at least Angus T. Jones won’t be coming back! Apparently, when a video of you trashing your show goes viral, it might have a negative impact on your career. Go figure! Poor Jonesy’s career may be dead — but just in case that starts a morbid trend, here’s:
THE EX-FACTOR DEPT.
Sad news today (well, sad for one person — for the rest of us, it’s actually pretty positive) — Khloe Kardashian Odom will not be returning next season to co-host X-Factor. There was no reason given, but it’s either because she wanted to spend more time with her family, or because she’s a talentless, unappealing cipher who was so terrible at her simple job that she made Mario Lopez look like a bottomless well of genius magnetism. Oh well — TV didn’t work out, but there’s always the big screen!
Pull up a seat and get the straight poop about the next issue of MAD — it features a Game of Thrones cover, as revealed Wednesday exclusively on Entertainment Weekly’s Popwatch! Be sure to pick up the issue when it hits stands April 23rd — it also includes a spoof of Skyfall, our take on gun shows, Sergio Aragonés’ "A MAD Look at Baseball" and much more! It’s flush with greatness! Buying it should be your #1 (or #2) priority!
Cover Artist: Mark Fredrickson
HOSTS OF PROBLEMS DEPT.
It’s not a great time to be the longtime host of an NBC show! In the last week, it’s come to light that in addition to swapping out Jay Leno for Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show, NBC is also possibly looking to replace Matt Lauer with Anderson Cooper on The Today Show. We know that unemployment is a big problem in this country — but in this case, we’re cool with it.
MAKING THE HOST OF A BAD SITUATION DEPT.
It’s been heavily hinted at that in 2014, Jay Leno will step down from hosting The Tonight Show and hand it over to Jimmy Fallon. Certainly, nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong with a plan that involves a Late Night host taking over The Tonight Show from Jay Leno! Ha ha ha ha — no precedent for disaster there! But we digress — Leno being a despicable crap-monster is beside the point. What we’re really wondering is…
CLASSIC MAD DEPT.
Yesterday was the 30th anniversary of the final episode of M*A*S*H — with over 100 million viewers, the most watched series finale of all time — but we were too busy updating our Trapper John M.D. Pinterest board to notice. To make amends, we present the entirety of "M*U*S*H", our satire of the beloved show's final season by Arnie Kogen and Jack Davis.
Click each page to make it bigger!
DIARY OF A WALKING DEAD KID
By Jeff Kinney and Robert Kirkman
Random Death Publishing, $11.95
The Walking Dead! Diary of a Wimpy Kid! Two massively popular cartoon titles, each with sales in the millions, but also two totally separate audiences. One series is a grisly exploration of existential horror, about an emotionally shattered hero just trying to survive another day with the terrible knowledge that his own family might turn on him at any moment. And the other one’s about zombies.
Each title has reached the pinnacle of success for any comic book creator. They’ve been turned into a TV show and a movie franchise, so rabid fans don’t ever have to waste their time reading the original source material ever again. Ugh, PAPER.
But the publishing houses aren’t giving up that easy. And if they’ve hit a marketing ceiling, there’s still one way to juice additional interest in their flagship titles: combine them! However, this particular crossover faces daunting creative challenges. On the one hand, you’ve got a grade school zitcom drawn on a blind monkey’s Etch-A-Sketch that thinks seat assignments and sleepovers are akin to Shakespearean drama. On the other severed hand, you’ve got a repetitive conveyor belt of necrocannibalistic gore, with a more detached tolerance for head trauma than the NFL. How can such disparate genres be integrated into one satisfying work? Can two one-note projects harmonize into a symphony?
The answer is yes. These two series are actually a perfect fit. Who among us hasn’t had an annoying sibling, and wanted to bite through their carotid artery? Diary of a Walking Dead Kid manages to tap into the latent homicidal rage that school and family are all about, and turn it into a charming, nightmarish, warmly funny ordeal of suffering that schizophrenics of all ages can identify with.
When the story begins, Greg Heffley wakes up to discover that he’s been transported to the blood-soaked suburbs of post-zombie Atlanta. How is this possible, you ask? Oh, shut up. You never wondered before how Greg could have 90% of his body weight concentrated in his head, but NOW you’re getting meticulous about realistic details and airtight logic?
At first, Greg’s happy with the switch because the weird kids have all been eaten, the zombified bullies can now be outrun, and it’s okay to put an axe into your least favorite teacher’s face. (Even more so if they’re a zombie.) As Greg’s pals get eaten one by one, he befriends neighborhood newcomer Carl Grimes. Carl’s the type of kid Greg’s never seen before. Hardened. Resilient. Youngest NRA President ever. He’s the most dangerous 13-year-old killing machine to appear in kids’ literature since Pippi Longstocking.
If there’s a problem with this savage zombie crossover, it’s that all of your favorite Wimpy Kid characters are dead by the end of it, including Skinny Male with Buck Teeth, Skinny Male with Five Hair Lines, Stocky Male with Buck Teeth, Skinny Male with Six Hair Lines and Prettiest Girl in School Who Looks Exactly Like Skinny Male with Five Hair Lines Except With a Wig. That leaves our hero Greg all alone, facing doom in a pitiless world, babbling his disjointed internal thoughts to nobody. In other words, like every Diary of a Wimpy Kid book.