Yesterday, U.S. swimmer Michael Phelps won his 19th Olympic medal, breaking the record for most medals received all-time. He'll long be admired as the most decorated Olympian in history, but we'll always remember him another way...
Well, it’s that time again! Exaggerated athletic pride, feigned international cooperation and millions of people asking what the hell “dressage” is. For a couple weeks every four years we get the chance to scoff at a physically perfect Norwegian gymnast performing a slightly off-center landing, even while we’re barely able to trudge our flabby butt over to the nearest Taco Bell.
Although the final decision won’t be made until 2013-2014, it’s looking like the NBA is going to start putting corporate logos on team jerseys. Who knows — with this new revenue stream, maybe the league can finally pay LeBron a proper salary (The man has a family to feed, dammit)! On the downside, though, once you start messing with sponsors, things can easily get out of hand.
With Jeremy Lin now leaving the Big Apple for Houston, fans of the New York Knicks, who haven’t won an NBA title since the end of the Vietnam War, are filled with meLINncholy. But many others aren’t taking the news so hard.
The Penn State Child abuse scandal was back in the news this morning thanks to the release of the Freeh Report. The report investigated the sexual abuse charges at Penn State and — you’re not gonna believe this — confirmed what everyone’s been saying for months now: that Joe Paterno and other Penn State officials repeatedly covered up Jerry Sandusky’s sexual abuse of children.
Ever since he started playing, LeBron James has been compared to Michael Jordan. But there was one big difference between the two players: Jordan had actually won a freakin’ championship! But after the Miami Heat’s victory last night, LeBron’s hands are ring-free no more! It turns out, however, that that is just the tip of the iceberg! When comparing these two players, the parallels and divergences are as nuanced and intriguing as the plotline to one of MJ’s Hanes commercials.
Legendary baseball fraud Roger Clemens beat the steroid-perjury rap yesterday when a jury declared him innocent of lying to Congress — thereby boosting his chances of getting into to the Hall of Fame from “zero” to “hopelessly remote.” On the off chance that he does make it, here’s the plaque that awaits him in Cooperstown.