When Other Notorious Characters Change Their Names Like Ron Artest

NBA-HOLE DEPT.

Last year, NBA thug Ron Artest changed his name to Metta World Peace in a heroic attempt to put his ugly and violent past behind him. It worked really well — at least until this past weekend, when “Metta World Peace” almost murdered James Harden with an elbow to the head. But why dwell on the negative? The important thing is that he changed his name to improve himself. We hope that others will follow his fine example and change their names as well.

The Strange Similarities Between Roger Clemens and John Edwards

CHEATS DON'T FAIL ME NOW! DEPT.

Two high profile trials are currently underway. One involves former Yankee pitcher Roger Clemens and his alleged lies to Congress about using steroids. The other involves former Senator and presidential candidate John Edwards and his use of campaign funds to hide an affair and love child. Two men. Two very different professions. And yet one can’t help but notice…

Ozzie Guillen's Despot Dream Team

HALL OF SHAME DEPT.

Miami Marlins coach Ozzie Guillen was suspended for five games after stating that he “loved” and “respected” longtime Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. Last time we checked, the constitution protected free speech — even free stupid speech.

How the Mets are Going to Raise $162 Million to Settle the Bernie Madoff Suit

SHEA IT AIN'T SO DEPT.

The Mets have struck a deal to pay $162 million to settle claims that they knew disgraced financier Bernie Madoff was running a Ponzi scheme. How the beleaguered team owner, Fred Wilpon, will come up with the money is now the big question. Here’s MAD with the big answers…

Signs You’re Suffering from March Madness

CLASSIC MAD DEPT.

It starts with 64...then there’s 32...then 16...then 8...until it’s finally down to just four survivors! Some new reality show? Perhaps! But we’re talking about America’s inexplicable obsession with the college basketball tournament! How about you? Are you addicted to hardwood? Maybe you'll recognize the symptoms in this classic piece by John Caldwell from MAD #403

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