BLASTER OF CEREMONIES DEPT.
GOOD SWILL AMBASSADOR DEPT.
On Sunday, Michael Jordan is turning 50! What do you get the aging man who has everything? Some fine arch support and sumptuously-cushioned insoles, that’s what!
With Super Bowl XLVII fast approaching, we thought we’d take this opportunity to revisit some of the most memorable plays and achievements in the history of the big game. These three alone are more stimulating than a syringe-ful of deer-antler extract!
No surprise, no surprise! Evidence has emerged that Alex Rodriguez took performance enhancing drugs the last three years. Wow, just imagine how crappy he would have played if he hadn’t been taking them! When he first admitted he was a steroid cheat back in 2009, we were proud to promote his new collectible piss cup. Look for A-Rod on Oprah soon!
Long-distance relationships are hard — especially when the person you’re dating doesn’t even exist! Through an increasingly-bonkers and decreasingly-credible series of events, Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o announced that his “girlfriend” Lennay Kekua was not a real person and that he had been scammed. But as the facts continue to emerge, it’s unclear how much Te’o actually knew — and whether he was actually involved in the scamming.
Two infamous names in the news, connected in ways that you might not realize.
Yesterday, Lance Armstrong finally came clean and admitted to being a lying, cheating, drug-using weasel. After years of steadfast denials, what prompted this sudden act of truthfulness? Some say it was the overwhelming evidence compiled against him.
Yesterday, Baseball Hall of Fame voters shut out two of the Steroid Era’s most prominent cheaters: Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens. In the spirit of kicking an acne-scarred, big-headed homunculus when he’s down, we commemorate their very public shaming with two classic MAD pieces.
Yesterday, ESPN.com debuted the cover for our upcoming issue, MAD #519! It's time to round up The 20 Dumbest People, Events, and Things of 2012 — this year's pack of offenders includes Lance Armstrong, Mitt Romney, Barack Obama, Amanda Bynes, Rush Limbaugh, Paula Deen and plenty more.