Other Punishments for Lance Armstrong

CYCLE KILLER DEPT.

Yesterday, Lance Armstrong decided to stop contesting the charges that he used performance-enhancing drugs during his career. He still denies that he ever doped, but it still means that he’ll be stripped of his seven Tour De France titles, his Olympic bronze medal and any other titles from 1998 onward (thankfully, he can keep his Latin Grammy). He’ll also have to return all prize money, and will be barred for life from performing or even coaching. That’s all gotta hurt…and it’s not even the worst of it!

Other Ways Olympic Badminton Teams Were Cheating

IT'S A BIRDIE JOB... DEPT.

In the fierce, dog-eat-dog world of competitive badminton, sometimes you’ve just gotta cheat to get ahead. At least that’s what the Olympic teams from China, Indonesia, and South Korea thought when they deliberately lost their matches in order to improve their next-round placement.

MAD About the Olympics

CLASSIC MAD DEPT.

Well, it’s that time again! Exaggerated athletic pride, feigned international cooperation and millions of people asking what the hell “dressage” is. For a couple weeks every four years we get the chance to scoff at a physically perfect Norwegian gymnast performing a slightly off-center landing, even while we’re barely able to trudge our flabby butt over to the nearest Taco Bell.

Pages

Subscribe to Sports