It's been reported that Pope Benedict XVI will be resigning from his post due to "advanced age". We can't help but wonder if the Pontiff's been feeling pressure to step down ever since we named him as one of 2010's 20 dumbest people of the year.
The United States Postal Service surprised absolutely nobody today by announcing that Saturday mail delivery will cease, beginning in August. And while it’ll be a bummer not to get that weekly mound of Pottery Barn catalogs and solicitations from the March of Dimes, it’s made even worse by the fact that extreme measures the Post Office has already taken — first reported in MAD #512, December 2011 — have had no effect at all.
Canada is eliminating the penny from its currency! We know what you’re thinking — “Who cares about anything Canada does?” And normally we’d agree — except that there’s been talk about retiring the penny in America, too! It seems like no one has researched the facts and come to an informed decision about the topic! And we’re not saying we did, either, but that didn’t stop us from crafting this list of…
Burger King recently admitted that hamburgers sold at its restaurants in the U.K. and Ireland contained horsemeat. BK insists that other than the improved taste, it never knew the switch had been made, but we’re not so sure after seeing these…
After reportedly assaulting Frank Ocean, Chris Brown posted a picture on Instagram of Jesus on the cross, with the message “Painting the way I feel today.” Awww, poor fella. Heavy is the head that wears the thorny crown! Still, we got to thinking, maybe we’re being too hard on Chris—especially if he IS the second coming! Which got us thinking about…
Hasbro announced that they would be retiring one of the classic Monopoly game pieces and replacing it with a brand new one! (Your days are numbered, Iron!) Fans will get to vote on which piece gets the heave-ho, and on which new one should replace it — either a cat, a robot, a helicopter, a diamond ring or a guitar. But those choices are about as fun as playing Monopoly without cheating!
2012 was the hottest year in the nation’s history! And while that’s not a surprise to anyone who set foot outside in the last 365 days (excluding that loveable shut-in, John Caldwell), there were several other tip-offs that you might have missed.
So Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Let the exploitation begin!
At one of the darkest times in our country’s history, Pearl Harbor and World War II, Norman Rockwell, inspired by a speech by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, painted his “Four Freedoms” series. Each of the paintings depicts a fundamental freedom that people everywhere in the world ought to enjoy — freedom of Speech and Worship, and freedom from Want and Fear. Tragically, three days ago in Newtown, Connecticut, one of these freedoms again came under assault.
It was announced this week that Pepsi and Beyoncé have become “global partners.” What that means (other than sounding like a “Risk” alliance) is that Beyoncé is getting $50 million to do a bunch of Pepsi stuff — including having her face on Pepsi cans. We figured there must have been other candidates for the job — and luckily, we discovered some of the other celebs Pepsi considered for the can-treatment before they settled on Beyoncé!