This week in Mars news, the NASA rover “Curiosity” (also the name of a new perfume for cats) successfully landed on the red planet. The mission, which has been in the works since 2004, cost about 2.5 billion dollars! While our sources tell us about a tenth of that money was spent getting all 18,800 NASA employees “Curiosity” windbreakers, the rest went to building the actual spacecraft.
This past weekend was the San Diego Comic-Con. And while there was plenty to see — there was even more to hear. So prick up your pointy blue Na’vi ears and listen for these…
Recently, it was revealed that Amtrak is a billion dollars in debt. A Billion! With a "B"! Do you have any idea how many tickets they'll have to punch just to get out of that hole? Where did the nation’s most bothersome method of transportation go wrong? Well, luckily for you we have some hunches about how Amtrak actually got itself into this financial train wreck.
British chef Gordon Ramsay's show, Hell's Kitchen, somehow remains a ratings hit. Just who’s watching this repetitive, profanity-laced reality show? To find out, we called the A.C. Nielsen ratings company. Until they get back to us (and it's been several weeks now), here's our best guess.
Like all of Tom Cruise’s projects, the end of his marriage to Katie Holmes left many upset, unsatisfied, and confused over what the hell happened. The only difference is that while a Cruise movie only lasts about 2 hours, his divorce dragged out in the media for weeks before he and Katie came to terms. And while much about the Cruise/Holmes union is still shrouded in mystery, we were fortunate enough to dig up some real TomKat dirt! So, if you can’t handle the truth, don’t read:
Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee is finally upon us! After 60 years of being pampered and waited on hand and foot while doing virtually nothing, she certainly deserves an over-the-top party (in America, she’d just get a reality show on E!).
Recently, the Center for Disease Control reassured the public that despite various cannibal crimes that have occurred lately, there is NOT a virus in existence could result in a zombie apocalypse (seriously). While we’d like to be comforted by this official stance, we also know better than to trust anything the government says! And it actually doesn’t take much investigating to see that the CDC is full of BS.
Yesterday, Viswanathan Anand successfully defended his title as World Chess Champion by defeating Boris Gelfand. Now, we know what you’re thinking — the only thing more boring than playing chess has got to be watching chess be played. Well that’s where you’re wrong! The match was filled with exciting, surprising events! Don’t get us wrong, it was still boring – but for a chess game, pretty exciting!
Over the weekend Facebook founder (and our eventual dark overlord) Mark Zuckerberg got married to his college sweetheart. And that got us thinking about what happens after the wedding. You know...paying the caterers! Hold on, what were YOU thinking of?!? Gross! Apparently, not everyone is as high-minded and mature as we are — which is why we shamefully point out these...