CLOTHES THE DOOR BEHIND YOU DEPT.
WHO’S YOUR FATTY? DEPT.
The American Medical Association is now classifying obesity as a disease. Which is great news — because that means we’ve no longer the fattest country in the world — just the sickest! (U-S-A! U-S-A!) Still, if obesity is now a disease, the “afflicted” will need a way to let emergency personnel know about their condition! Lucky, MAD took that food for thought and cooked up...
GOING THROUGH AN AWKWARD FACE DEPT.
IT’S A SMALL BUT VERY EXPENSIVE WORLD DEPT.
WHERE THERE’S A WILL, THERE’S DISMAY DEPT.
SELLING YOUR CONSOLE TO THE DEVIL DEPT.
Microsoft announced yesterday that they’d be releasing the first new Xbox console in eight years! The so-called “all in one” system, the Xbox One, will let gamers record live TV, play Blu-ray HD discs and even make calls on Skype. But it’s also getting people mad, since old games won’t work on it, and sharing games will mean paying an additional price. But let’s not rush to judgment until we take a long, unbiased look at the system. And in that spirit, let’s examine these MAD-researched…
Apple is known for being amazing innovators in the field of electronics — but apparently they’re also ingeniously inventive when it comes to avoiding paying taxes! It was recently revealed that the company established an elaborate system of shell companies in various countries that let them avoid paying TENS OF BILLIONS of dollars in taxes! Stiffing Uncle Sam? There’s an app for that!
JUICETICE IS BLIND DEPT.
O.J. Simpson is currently arguing before a judge that he should be freed from jail because his lawyer botched his 2008 trial for armed robbery and kidnapping. (Poor guy — he can’t get away with anything!) His new lawyers will present 19 reasons why the Juice should be let loose — and we managed to get our hands on a few!
MAIL ENHANCEMENT DEPT.
THE EX-FACTOR DEPT.
Sad news today (well, sad for one person — for the rest of us, it’s actually pretty positive) — Khloe Kardashian Odom will not be returning next season to co-host X-Factor. There was no reason given, but it’s either because she wanted to spend more time with her family, or because she’s a talentless, unappealing cipher who was so terrible at her simple job that she made Mario Lopez look like a bottomless well of genius magnetism. Oh well — TV didn’t work out, but there’s always the big screen!