MAIL ENHANCEMENT DEPT.
THE EX-FACTOR DEPT.
Sad news today (well, sad for one person — for the rest of us, it’s actually pretty positive) — Khloe Kardashian Odom will not be returning next season to co-host X-Factor. There was no reason given, but it’s either because she wanted to spend more time with her family, or because she’s a talentless, unappealing cipher who was so terrible at her simple job that she made Mario Lopez look like a bottomless well of genius magnetism. Oh well — TV didn’t work out, but there’s always the big screen!
A FLU GOOD MEN DEPT.
Time magazine recently revealed their "100 Most Influential People." And that’s exciting — but what we’re really psyched about is next week’s issue — just in time for the end of cold and flu season!
DON’T MESS WITH TAXES DEPT.
Today is tax day! And you know what that means: um...it’s the day you pay your taxes! (Sorry, the name is kind of a giveaway...) Anyway — even though it’s a terrible, boring and wallet-draining time, there’s one sure-fire way to make it more enjoyable...see what the stars are doing! So, to help ease the pain, we thought we’d take a look at what some celebrity taxpayers are writing off as deductions this year!
THE MOST HAPPY BELLA DEPT.
Kristen Stewart turns 23 today! We’re sure that she’s going to get cards from everyone! (Well, probably not from the wife of the guy she cheated with…but you know what we mean.) Still, in the spirit of this oh-so-special day, we’re delighted to offer:
SYMBOL MINDED DEPT.
ANY WHICH WAY BUT LUCIFER DEPT.
For the second time in a month, a Carnival Cruise ship — this one called “The Dream” and henceforth known as “The Nightmare” — is suffering power outages and pesky plumbing problems. Note: by “pesky plumbing problems,” we mean what passengers call “large amount of human waste all over the floor in bathrooms and staterooms.” On the positive side, we hear the view from the stench-ridden cabins is lovely this time of year.
CHANCE OF WAYNE DEPT.
THEM’S THE SHAKES DEPT.