The Ku Klux Klan recently approached the state of Georgia about joining their “Adopt a Highway” program, claiming that their goal is to keep the mountains beautiful. While we appreciate the KKK going green, that’s probably not the first color they need to reconcile with. If the Klan succeeds, the people of Georgia can look forward to seeing their roads filled with less garbage...but much more white trash.
The Nobel Foundation, responsible for the distribution of the Nobel Prize, just announced that they’re cutting the amount of their prize from $1.4 million to a piddling $1.1 million! Although some have pondered getting rid of the ceremony altogether, what would be the point of acts of selflessness and charity if you weren’t rewarded with worldwide recognition and a large cash prize? Still, if the Nobel foundation REALLY wants to turn things around, it’s time to make these…
On Saturday, the Air Yeezy 2 will go on sale with a bonkers price tag of $245. But prices on eBay for the Nike/Kanye West collaboration have skyrocketed, with a pair reportedly pre-selling for over 350% of their retail value! That’s almost as inflated as Kanye’s ego! The amount of money people are willing to shell out for the sneakers points either to an economy that is finally getting stronger, or (more likely) that people are just getting dumber.
Recently, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth made their engagement public — probably after Hemsworth decided he’d be a doofus if he didn’t get in on those sweet, sweet Disney dollars. Hemsworth bought a 3.5 karat diamond to replace that abstinence “purity ring” she conveniently stopped wearing. The couple has found that planning a wedding is difficult no matter how rich and famous you are (for now). Lucky for us, we’ve obtained a list of the expenses that even the Beverly Hillbillies would hoot and holler over.
As shares of Facebook stock continue to fall, many investors are now wringing their hands, ruing the day they paid a whopping $38 per share for Facebook’s Initial Public Offering. With billions lost and the stock now down over 20%, all that investors can do is weep uncontrollably and think about all the great things they could have spent that money on.
Recently, The Pope’s butler was arrested on charges that he’d stolen secret documents! This is huge news! The Pope has a freakin’ butler! (That must be a VERY fancy gent!) You might be wondering — are the secrets he leaked actually that embarrassing? Is the Pope Catholic?!?!
It was recently announced that in the next James Bond movie, Skyfall, the legendary spy will not be drinking his trademark martinis — instead he’ll be sipping Heinekens. We think it’s shameful when a classic institution whores itself out (unrelated, but be sure to watch MAD on Cartoon Network!) — and we realize it’s only the beginning in a slew of dreadful product placement in the Bond films.
Facebook is going public this week, which means you can now buy stock in the company! Well, YOU can’t — the stocks are extremely sought after and you have to be pretty well-connected to get your hands on them. And let’s face facts — if you’re reading the MAD website, you’re probably not well-connected. (Hell, you’re lucky just to be internet-connected). So since we’ll never see one in person, we’re giving a sneak peek of what the actual stock certificates will look like!
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