Manti Te’o’s Lying Circus

WIN ONE FOR THE FIBBER DEPT.

Long-distance relationships are hard — especially when the person you’re dating doesn’t even exist! Through an increasingly-bonkers and decreasingly-credible series of events, Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o announced that his “girlfriend” Lennay Kekua was not a real person and that he had been scammed. But as the facts continue to emerge, it’s unclear how much Te’o actually knew — and whether he was actually involved in the scamming.

Other Ways Olympic Badminton Teams Were Cheating

IT'S A BIRDIE JOB... DEPT.

In the fierce, dog-eat-dog world of competitive badminton, sometimes you’ve just gotta cheat to get ahead. At least that’s what the Olympic teams from China, Indonesia, and South Korea thought when they deliberately lost their matches in order to improve their next-round placement.

Other Explosive Vatican Secrets Revealed by the Pope's Butler

POWER TO THE PAPAL DEPT.

Recently, The Pope’s butler was arrested on charges that he’d stolen secret documents! This is huge news! The Pope has a freakin’ butler! (That must be a VERY fancy gent!) You might be wondering — are the secrets he leaked actually that embarrassing? Is the Pope Catholic?!?! 

The Strange Similarities Between Roger Clemens and John Edwards

CHEATS DON'T FAIL ME NOW! DEPT.

Two high profile trials are currently underway. One involves former Yankee pitcher Roger Clemens and his alleged lies to Congress about using steroids. The other involves former Senator and presidential candidate John Edwards and his use of campaign funds to hide an affair and love child. Two men. Two very different professions. And yet one can’t help but notice…

A Classic Tolstoy Novel Updated

Recently video was (ahem) leaked of four Marines urinating on the corpses of Taliban fighters. (And they said waterboarding was bad!) Having never been on the battlefield, we’ll reserve final comment. But on the surface it certainly looks as if the Marines were “going” down the wrong path with this. In a related development, there are unconfirmed rumors that two of the Marines have just signed deals to act as spokesmen for Flomax.

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