WE WON’T GET FOOD AGAIN DEPT.
ALL YOU NEED IS GOV DEPT.
INNING ISN'T EVERYTHING DEPT.
A BRIDGE TOO MARRED DEPT.
HOLDING DOWN THE FORT LEE DEPT.
PIPE FOR SATIRE DEPT.
PHILANDER THE FREE DEPT.
BIOGENESIS EXODUS DEPT.
It was announced today that Alex Rodriguez will be suspended through the end of the 2014 baseball season due to his use of performance-enhancing drugs (and his reported cover-up of that P.E.D. use — which apparently didn’t go so well). While an appeal is inevitable, his cheating-filled legacy appears set — and if he somehow makes it to Cooperstown, we have a pretty good idea what his plaque will look like.
SEXT AND THE CITY DEPT.
CARLOS DANGEROUS LIAISONS DEPT.
When we ran the first version of this ad two years ago, we assumed that Sexter would run for a single season before being cancelled. However, now that more dirty messages and nude shots of Anthony Weiner have turned up (dated a full year AFTER his initial sexting scandal broke) this show has been renewed...even if his New York mayoral hopes are being cancelled.