THE EYES OF TAXES ARE UPON YOU DEPT.

With recent revelations of the Internal Revenue Service’s automatic flagging of the Tea Party and other conservative groups has come a wave of justifiable outrage from all sides. But how to explain to your children such a flagrant abuse of power? Perhaps this new book will help.

CONFESSIONS OF A COURTROOM DRAMA QUEEN DEPT.

When Lindsay Lohan yesterday accepted a plea deal for driving into a dump truck, part of the agreement was that she’d do 90 days of hard rehab. We’re not sure that this is going to help all that much, but at the very least, her latest legal episode will provide fodder for her big comeback movie.

Long-distance relationships are hard — especially when the person you’re dating doesn’t even exist! Through an increasingly-bonkers and decreasingly-credible series of events, Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o announced that his “girlfriend” Lennay Kekua was not a real person and that he had been scammed. But as the facts continue to emerge, it’s unclear how much Te’o actually knew — and whether he was actually involved in the scamming. Whatever the outcome, Te’o should remember one thing: there are plenty of imaginary fish in the sea!