Yesterday, Baseball Hall of Fame voters shut out two of the Steroid Era’s most prominent cheaters: Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens. In the spirit of kicking an acne-scarred, big-headed homunculus when he’s down, we commemorate their very public shaming with two classic MAD pieces.
From MAD #473, January 2007
Writer: Jacob Lambert
Artist: Mark Fredrickson
Legendary baseball fraud Roger Clemens beat the steroid-perjury rap yesterday when a jury declared him innocent of lying to Congress — thereby boosting his chances of getting into to the Hall of Fame from “zero” to “hopelessly remote.” On the off chance that he does make it, here’s the plaque that awaits him in Cooperstown.
Two high profile trials are currently underway. One involves former Yankee pitcher Roger Clemens and his alleged lies to Congress about using steroids. The other involves former Senator and presidential candidate John Edwards and his use of campaign funds to hide an affair and love child. Two men. Two very different professions. And yet one can’t help but notice…
• Call up Casey Anthony, see if she has any tips
• De-Friend Andy Pettitte
• Stockpile clean urine (just in case)
• Check nads, see if they still look like two Craisins
• Fling a bat at Mike Piazza, just for old times' sake
• Tell wife he’s going to the store, then go see Larry Crowne instead (because he’s a huge effin' liar!)
• Take comfort in the fact that, when he goes to prison, he already knows he looks good in a striped uniform
Artist: Sam Sisco