Michele Bachmann Quits Congress: MAD Will Miss Her!

CLASSIC MAD DEPT.

Whoever said, “Dying is easy, comedy is hard” died before Michele Bachmann ran for public office. The four-term, factually-challenged Congresswoman from Minnesota was a gift to comedy writers everywhere — her gaffes providing daily fodder for pundits, late-night comedians and yes, even MAD. Yesterday, Mrs. Bachmann announced that she would not seek another term in Congress. Her departure from the political scene will once again make comedy hard. Good bye, Mrs. Bachmann. And thanks.

Chris Christie: Breaking Band

EAT, WEIGH, GUV DEPT.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie recently revealed that he had undergone lap-band surgery in order to help him get down to his “goal weight” of a svelte 535 pounds. We salute his newfound resolve to lead a healthier life — but, given his donut-inhaling history, we’re a little worried about a relapse. But if such a thing does happen, it will at least make for riveting drama.

Marco Rubio’s “Watergate” Moment

WATER FOR GOP ELEPHANTS DEPT.

Last night, while delivering the GOP rebuttal to President Obama’s State of the Union Address, an obviously-parched Senator Marco Rubio reached for a bottle of water. Unfortunately, he wasn’t exactly as graceful as a ballerina. Actually, it was more akin to a 1,000-pound man lunging for the last shrimp at an all-you-can eat buffet. But was this brief human moment worth all the ridiculous hoopla that the media is giving it? Nah, it’s already water under the bridge.

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