FAT ALIBI DEPT.
WATER BORED DEPT.
After failing four times in the past, 64-year-old Diana Nyad successfully swam from Cuba to Florida over the weekend. She made the 110-mile journey in just under 53 hours (slightly faster than Amtrak!), and was also the first person to do so without using a shark cage. Clearly, it’s cause for celebration! And for a speech from a water-logged, exhausted senior citizen!
WINNER IS COMING DEPT.
The Miami Heat have won 26 games in a row! (Not to be confused with the Charlotte Bobcats — who had 26 people in the stands at their last game.) Right now, the Heat are on pace to beat the Lakers’ 33-game winning streak to have the longest winning streak in NBA history! And even though we’d love to root for a scrappy underdog like LeBron, we have a terrible feeling that it’s not going to happen.
2012 was the hottest year in the nation’s history! And while that’s not a surprise to anyone who set foot outside in the last 365 days (excluding that loveable shut-in, John Caldwell), there were several other tip-offs that you might have missed.