Arguments O.J. Simpson’s Lawyers are Making for His Release

JUICETICE IS BLIND DEPT.

O.J. Simpson is currently arguing before a judge that he should be freed from jail because his lawyer botched his 2008 trial for armed robbery and kidnapping. (Poor guy — he can’t get away with anything!) His new lawyers will present 19 reasons why the Juice should be let loose — and we managed to get our hands on a few!

Signs You're Too Fat to Receive the Death Penalty

THE LAMB SHANK REDEMPTION DEPT.

This week, death row inmate Ronald Post made news when he claimed that at 480 pounds, he was too fat to be executed without it being a “torturous and lingering death.” Now don’t get us wrong — the last thing we’d ever want is for a convicted killer to suffer in any way. But it does raise some interesting points. How fat is too fat? Is our nation’s prison system in need of reform?

Porn-Loving Inmate's Netflix Queue

An inmate in a Michigan jail is suing the state because it won’t allow him to get porn. The 21-year old adult entertainment enthusiast says the porn ban effectively subjects him to cruel and unusual punishment (which ironically is a genre of porn itself). Legal experts believe that courts may rule in his favor if he limits his selections to prison-themed porn. Here’s our suggested Netflix cue for him.

Subscribe to Prison