BAD TO THE DRONE DEPT.
President Obama is scaling back the use of drones to kill terrorists and foreign enemies. Which is really a shame. Drones are destructive, extremely violent, and one of the laziest ways to destroy something. They’re just so American! Besides, the way Obama was mysteriously meting out a swift brand justice — it reminded us of someone else…
SEXT IN THE CITY DEPT.
Disgraced and embarrassed ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner is hinting he’ll run for Mayor of New York City! Let the ridicule begin!
A blockbuster deal shook the entertainment industry today when Disney acquired Lucasfilm for $4.05 billion. As a result, Disney has added the massively lucrative Star Wars franchise to a roster that already boasts the Pixar films and Marvel properties — including the $1.5 billion-grossing The Avengers. But the biggest news arising from this deal is the announcement of upcoming Star Wars movies! Beginning with 2015's Episode VII, a slew of new sequels will ensure that legions of fans keep buying Darth Vader bathrobes and R2-D2 gravy boats for generations to come.
As George Lucas walks away with a few billion in cash and 40 million shares of Disney stock, MAD is excited to present the first look at the poster for the next chapter in the Star Wars saga!
