MAD Re-captions NRA Exec. Vice President Wayne LaPierre’s News Conference

IN DEEP SHOOT DEPT.

Abraham Lincoln once said “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” And after a week of silence regarding the tragic shootings in Newtown, CT, the NRA learned that lesson the hard way. This afternoon, NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre held a press conference where he suggested that having armed guards in all schools would prevent something like Newtown from happening again.

Susan Rice Withdraws Name for Secretary of State

REVENGE IS A SIDE DISH BEST SERVED COLD DEPT.

U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice withdrew her name for consideration as Secretary of State, following weeks of blistering criticism from Republicans who claimed she deliberately misled them about the American consulate attack in Benghazi, Libya. With lukewarm support coming from the White House, it was a smart move. After all — and especially in D.C. — if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen! 

MAD Magazine Susan Rice a Runnin

What Did Joe Biden Buy at Costco?

THE JOE-EST PRICES ANYWHERE DEPT.

To demonstrate his solidarity with the middle class, Vice President Joe Biden went on a holiday shopping trip to the Washington, DC Costco yesterday. They were all out of tooth whitener and hair plugs — but here are some of the things he DID buy!

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