Last night, while delivering the GOP rebuttal to President Obama’s State of the Union Address, an obviously-parched Senator Marco Rubio reached for a bottle of water. Unfortunately, he wasn’t exactly as graceful as a ballerina. Actually, it was more akin to a 1,000-pound man lunging for the last shrimp at an all-you-can eat buffet. But was this brief human moment worth all the ridiculous hoopla that the media is giving it? Nah, it’s already water under the bridge.
Yesterday, Kate Upton was announced as the cover girl of Sport Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue! And tonight, President Obama delivers the State of the Union Address! Guess which of these things more Americans care about? C’mon Barry, it’s time to give the people what they want!
When Bush family e-mails were hacked last week, among the leaked information were photos of paintings made by none other than former President George W. Bush. We were shocked to learn that W. has an artistic side, but not so shocked by the paintings’ amateurish mediocrity — the very quality we look for in all MAD illustrators! So we were understandably pleased when he accepted our offer to become our newest cover artist. Now get back to work, George! We need the next cover by Thursday morning!
Representative Joe Courtney of Connecticut sent a letter to Steven Spielberg pointing out an error in his film Lincoln. It seems, at the time, all four of Connecticut’s representatives voted against slavery. In the film, however, Spielberg depicts two representatives as voting FOR slavery. It turns out this is just the opening shot (sorry) in a host of mistakes and omissions in the film that are only now coming to light.
To quiet those who have questioned the president’s gun use, the White House released a photo over the weekend that showed Obama skeet shooting. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words — but in this case, the picture is only telling half the story (so, it’s really only, like, 500 words…600 words max). What was really in Obama's sights? We can only speculate.
Yesterday, the Senate Judiciary Committee grilled Hillary Clinton about her failure to prevent the embassy attack in Benghazi. It was an eye-opening discussion (when it wasn’t eye-closingly boring)…
Yesterday was the Inaugural celebration and public swearing-in for President Obama’s second term! And while it’s historic and all that, not everyone could be there (if we’re going to stand out in the cold, we expect to get an Apple product or see the back of Matt Lauer’s head in person — and, ideally, both!). However, being the solid Americans that we are, we thought we’d pass along some of the highlights:
Earlier today, Vice President Joe Biden delivered his report on gun violence to President Obama. Now, we deliver to you a sneak peek at our upcoming back cover. We’re sure that all Americans will want to proudly hang it in their home, though not all for the same reason. Pick up a copy of MAD #520, on sale February 19, to get your frame-worthy print.
Sampler stitched by Deborah Woodbridge
As the Republican Congress and President Obama continue to haggle over raising the debt ceiling, it’s been mentioned that an old Treasury rule can allow the President to skirt the issue by minting a trillion dollar coin. If such a ridiculous gimmick were to happen, whose face should grace this coin? President Obama’s? House Speaker John Boehner’s? We humbly submit that there is only one face truly suited to symbolize the stupidity and dysfunction of Washington, D.C. And that face is...well, you know who!