OPTICAL DELUSIONS DEPT.
THE BOOTH OF A NATION DEPT.
Yesterday, President Obama met with Governor Chris Christie to tour parts of the Jersey Shore that were ravaged by Hurricane Sandy. It was a rare display of both bipartisanship and unbridled bromance. We’re happy to report that not only was a splendid time had by all — it was also captured on film!
CLASSIC MAD DEPT.
Whoever said, “Dying is easy, comedy is hard” died before Michele Bachmann ran for public office. The four-term, factually-challenged Congresswoman from Minnesota was a gift to comedy writers everywhere — her gaffes providing daily fodder for pundits, late-night comedians and yes, even MAD. Yesterday, Mrs. Bachmann announced that she would not seek another term in Congress. Her departure from the political scene will once again make comedy hard. Good bye, Mrs. Bachmann. And thanks.
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BAD TO THE DRONE DEPT.
President Obama is scaling back the use of drones to kill terrorists and foreign enemies. Which is really a shame. Drones are destructive, extremely violent, and one of the laziest ways to destroy something. They’re just so American! Besides, the way Obama was mysteriously meting out a swift brand justice — it reminded us of someone else…
THE EYES OF TAXES ARE UPON YOU DEPT.
With recent revelations of the Internal Revenue Service’s automatic flagging of the Tea Party and other conservative groups has come a wave of justifiable outrage from all sides. But how to explain to your children such a flagrant abuse of power? Perhaps this new book will help.
COMIN’ AROUND THE BENGHAZI DEPT.
The attack on Libya’s American embassy on Sept. 11 was a tragedy. And as if that weren’t terrible enough, now it’s being said that then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton mismanaged the situation, and if it had been handled differently, it might have been avoided entirely. As the accusations continue and new evidence comes to light, Hil’s original story about how things went down is holding less and less water. We’ll see how things shake out, but one thing is for sure — it’s tough to find a silver lining in all this.
EAT, WEIGH, GUV DEPT.
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie recently revealed that he had undergone lap-band surgery in order to help him get down to his “goal weight” of a svelte 535 pounds. We salute his newfound resolve to lead a healthier life — but, given his donut-inhaling history, we’re a little worried about a relapse. But if such a thing does happen, it will at least make for riveting drama.