The Artist won a stunning five Oscars on Sunday, including Best Picture, Best Actor, and Best Director — but the French film still lags behind insipid garbage like This Means War, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, and Ghost Rider: Nicolas Cage’s Flamin’ Spittle. In fact, the only way that The Artist might gain traction in American multiplexes is if it’s dumbed down a bit — in other words, less think, more stink.

The odds-on favorite to win Best Picture at this Sunday’s Academy Awards is The Artist —the silent, black-and-white French film that has been seen by as many as seven dozen American moviegoers. But if it wins the Oscar, its profile is sure to rise — which is why we were thrilled to get our hands on these just-leaked, eminently quotable outtakes.