The Grammys’ List of Banned Body Parts — What’s Real and What’s Not?

NO NUDES IS GOOD NUDES DEPT.

Yesterday, a memo from CBS Standards and Practices was leaked to the public. In it, the network advised performers on this Sunday’s Grammys that certain wardrobe choices would be...unacceptable. They then went into detail, using the most awkward and prudish terms possible, what body parts performers should not show.

The Startling Similarities and Differences Between Chris Brown and Jesus Christ

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIS DEPT.

After reportedly assaulting Frank Ocean, Chris Brown posted a picture on Instagram of Jesus on the cross, with the message “Painting the way I feel today.” Awww, poor fella. Heavy is the head that wears the thorny crown! Still, we got to thinking, maybe we’re being too hard on Chris—especially if he IS the second coming! Which got us thinking about…

Will Paul McCartney Sing for Nirvana Tonight?

A NO COBAIN-ER DEPT.

There are reports that Paul McCartney will front a Nirvana reunion with Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic at tonight’s 12-12-12 Hurricane Sandy Relief Benefit, with Sir Paul standing in for the late Kurt Cobain.Though they are not expected to perform such delightful Nirvana classics as “Dumb” or “Lithium”, the performance may have fans clamoring for more — and we wonder if that could lead to a brand

Pepsi’s Rejected Beyoncé-Style Cans

DRINK AND DRIVEL DEPT.

It was announced this week that Pepsi and Beyoncé have become “global partners.” What that means (other than sounding like a “Risk” alliance) is that Beyoncé is getting $50 million to do a bunch of Pepsi stuff — including having her face on Pepsi cans. We figured there must have been other candidates for the job — and luckily, we discovered some of the other celebs Pepsi considered for the can-treatment before they settled on Beyoncé!

The Terrifying New Gangnam Style Movie

DANCE, DANCE DEVOLUTION DEPT.

Over the weekend, Gangnam Style” by South Korean pop star PSY became YouTube’s most viewed video of all time, taking the #1 spot from “Baby” by Justin Bieber. Unseating Beebs is HUGE news — since it proves that Canada isn’t the only foreign country that can export an annoying song by a stupidly-dressed, prancing moron with ridiculous hair.

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