After peeing on Taliban corpses, accidentally burning the Koran and a tragic shooting spree by a deranged soldier, it’s not exactly shocking that America has failed to win the hearts and minds of the Afghani people. Today, Afghan President Hamid Karzai asked President Obama to get U.S. troops out of his country NOW! Like Vietnam and more recently, Iraq, we’ve seen this movie before.
It was 40 years ago today that the movie The Godfather debuted, ushering in an era of stand-up comics stuffing cotton in their mouths to do bad Marlon Brando impressions and providing hack screenwriters an endless supply of classic lines to reference (READ: steal) in their movies. (“Make him an offer he can’t refuse,” “Leave the gun, take the cannoli,” “It’s not personal, it’s just business.”) Not to be left out of the fun, MAD published a spoof of "Don Minestrone” and his loving (but violent) family in MAD #155, December 1972.
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The Artist won a stunning five Oscars on Sunday, including Best Picture, Best Actor, and Best Director — but the French film still lags behind insipid garbage like This Means War, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, and Ghost Rider: Nicolas Cage’s Flamin’ Spittle. In fact, the only way that The Artist might gain traction in American multiplexes is if it’s dumbed down a bit — in other words, less think, more stink.
The Oscars are this Sunday night — and by now all the nominees have already scored their free tuxedos, gowns and jewelry from designers desperate to have their names mentioned on the red carpet. All that’s left for them to do is to score some sedatives for the big night and finish writing their acceptance speeches...unless you’re Glenn Close. Sorry, G.C., but you don’t stand a chance in hell with that stupid cross-dressing movie! 15 years of planning for that?!?! Seriously?!? You made TWO 101 Dalmatian movies in just four years!
The odds-on favorite to win Best Picture at this Sunday’s Academy Awards is The Artist —the silent, black-and-white French film that has been seen by as many as seven dozen American moviegoers. But if it wins the Oscar, its profile is sure to rise — which is why we were thrilled to get our hands on these just-leaked, eminently quotable outtakes.