Vladimir Putin’s Appalling New Movie

RUSSKIE BUSINESS DEPT.

Russian President Vladimir Putin isn’t exactly known for being warm, compassionate and cuddly. Even so, it’s shockingly disappointing that Putin has initiated a slew of measures designed to punish anyone in Russia who is homosexual, or merely in favor of gay rights. We’re pretty sure that you can’t eradicate homosexuality just by banning so-called gay “propaganda.” But on the off-chance it works, maybe Putin can try passing some laws that would make it illegal to be a close-minded, ignorant hate-monger.

Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin’s Hard-hitting New Movie

A KICK IN THE ASS-YLUM DEPT.

The relationship between the United States and Russia has been going downhill for some time. This week President Obama cancelled his upcoming meeting with Vladimir Putin after the Russian president granted political asylum to NSA leaker Edward Snowden. Could all this be a harbinger of a return to the dreaded Cold War? Or worse yet, the inspiration for a stupid movie…

Kim Jong Un's Crazy New Movie

APE FEAR DEPT.

North Korea’s supreme leader, the pudgy, 30-year-old Kim Jong Un, keeps issuing nuclear threats from his crumbling peninsula (when he’s not entertaining semi-forgotten NBA rebounders, of course) — threatening to attack South Korea, the United States, and possibly parts of Guam. While nobody’s quite sure how seriously to take this guy, one thing is for certain: the whole ridiculous episode is starting to feel like a bad movie.

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