The Artist won a stunning five Oscars on Sunday, including Best Picture, Best Actor, and Best Director — but the French film still lags behind insipid garbage like This Means War, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, and Ghost Rider: Nicolas Cage’s Flamin’ Spittle. In fact, the only way that The Artist might gain traction in American multiplexes is if it’s dumbed down a bit — in other words, less think, more stink.
The Oscars are this Sunday night — and by now all the nominees have already scored their free tuxedos, gowns and jewelry from designers desperate to have their names mentioned on the red carpet. All that’s left for them to do is to score some sedatives for the big night and finish writing their acceptance speeches...unless you’re Glenn Close. Sorry, G.C., but you don’t stand a chance in hell with that stupid cross-dressing movie! 15 years of planning for that?!?! Seriously?!? You made TWO 101 Dalmatian movies in just four years!