Red Bull’s Adrenaline-Pumping New Flavors

PUSHED TO THE DRINK OF INSANITY DEPT.

Red Bull recently announced that in addition to their original flavor, they’d soon be introducing cranberry, lime and blueberry versions. This is good news for anyone who’s barfed up a Red Bull and thought, “I’d sure love to taste some variety in my vomit!” With that spirit of diversity in mind, we’re proud to offer a sneak peak at even MORE Red Bull flavors coming out soon!

New James Bond Poster Revealed

LICENSE TO SHILL DEPT.

Adele’s new song from Skyfall debuted today — and everyone’s going ga-ga-goofy over it! But that news has completely overshadowed the bigger scoop about the latest James Bond movie! Apparently, while fans were distracted, producers quietly retooled the entire movie to make it more air-travel friendly! No doubt they’re after those sweet, sweet product placement dollars. Scoundrels!

Mitt Romney Mounts Big Bird's Head on the Wall

YELLOW AND GOODBYE DEPT.

In last night’s Presidential debate, Mitt Romney vowed to kill Federal funding for Big Bird if elected President. After consoling the millions of weeping toddlers across the nation, we wondered what Mitt’s Christmas card would look like if he does assume the Oval Office and make good on his promise. Snuffleupagus, beware!

Justin Bieber’s Nauseating New “Got Milk?” Ad

DAIRY OF A WIMPY KID DEPT.

During his performance on Saturday, Justin Bieber puked out his Canadian guts all over the stage. Suffice to say, the copious barf was the best thing to ever come out of his mouth during a concert. Bieber claimed that his ralphing was caused by drinking too much milk (just how wholesome is this weiner?!?) — but it got us wondering if there was a way for Biebs to turn this unfortunate event into a career boost!

Apple Maps Wreak Havoc with New Yorker Cover

DIRECTILE DYSFUNCTION DEPT.

Apple’s new iOS 6 launched last week with much fanfare. But there are some bugs still to be worked out with Apple Maps, according to which Lexington Avenue is in New Jersey, the Washington Monument  has moved across the street and the Brooklyn Bridge is half under the East River. With over a half billion searches in the first few days, the new operating system is creating some unexpected problems.

Similarities Between "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" and "Star Wars"

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH Y’ALL DEPT.

We often notice when two things are similar. Mountain Dew and Mello Yello? Similar! Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel? Similar! Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and the Star Wars saga? Similar! (Please just bear with us, we’ve been drinking citrus soda and looking at pictures of doe-eyed brunettes all day and we’re a little loopy…)

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