Today is one of America’s most beloved pseudo-holidays, right up there with Root Vegetable Awareness Week: “Take Your Child to Work Day.” In bringing your son or daughter to work today, you’re teaching them the importance of commitment, dedication, and putzing around on eBay. And as long as you’ve got the little monster in the office with you, you might as well make the best of it — and we’re here to help.
By now you’ve seen this picture of “dive bar girl” Madalyn Starkey posing with the President. You know the face. You know the point. But you don’t know what she said! Or do you?!? (You’re so secretive, you little minx, you!) We wrote a few ourselves — click through and share your own in the comments section!
Whenever two celebrities wear the same outfit, there’s always a stupid article about who looked better in it. So we decided we want in on that action! After all, stupid articles are pretty much our bread and butter! Join the democratic process — cast your votes in the comment section!
Last year, NBA thug Ron Artest changed his name to Metta World Peace in a heroic attempt to put his ugly and violent past behind him. It worked really well — at least until this past weekend, when “Metta World Peace” almost murdered James Harden with an elbow to the head. But why dwell on the negative? The important thing is that he changed his name to improve himself. We hope that others will follow his fine example and change their names as well.
Two high profile trials are currently underway. One involves former Yankee pitcher Roger Clemens and his alleged lies to Congress about using steroids. The other involves former Senator and presidential candidate John Edwards and his use of campaign funds to hide an affair and love child. Two men. Two very different professions. And yet one can’t help but notice…
Everybody likes to make friends…and nobody more so than the Secret Service when they’re in a country that has legalized prostitution! We think the lesson from all this is simple: be careful who you poke.
DogTV, a new on-demand channel made specifically for dogs, recently debuted in San Diego — and enough suckers there are paying five bucks a month for it that DogTV will soon be offered nationwide. The channel features “footage and soundtracks designed for stimulation [and] relaxation” — meaning lots of traffic, nature scenes, and, of course, canine-centric twists on human favorites.
Yesterday, a rocket launched by North Korea went kablooey (which is NOT a Korean word meaning “successfully into space”!) The failure left the country’s leaders with egg on their faces — which, tragically, for millions of starving North Koreans, is as close to a meal as they’ll get! It’s not surprising that the rocket blew apart, considering where it came from...